Sunday, 19 June 2016

Destroying Happiness - Islamic Prohibition of Freemixing of Men and Women

According to the authentic hadiths, Islam prohibits men and women from being alone - the only exception is for married partners and close blood relatives.

Proof from hadiths:

1) Sahih al Bukhari 4:52:250
Narrated Ibn `Abbas:
That he heard the Prophet (ﷺ) saying, "It is not permissible for a man to be alone with a woman, and no lady should travel except with a Muhram (i.e. her husband or a person whom she cannot marry in any case for ever; e.g. her father, brother, etc.)." Then a man got up and said, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! I have enlisted in the army for such-and-such Ghazwa and my wife is proceeding for Hajj." Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Go, and perform the Hajj with your wife."

2) Sahih Muslim 7:3112
Ibn Juraij narrated this hadith with the same chain of transmitters, but he made no mention of it:
"No person (man) should be alone with a woman except when there is a Mahram with her."

This persuades the Muslims to prohibit their sons and daughters from even spending time alone with their friends of opposite sex. One of the most important things in life is getting to know your partner well enough before marriage. This teaching makes it very hard for people to do that. You cannot know your partner well enough by spending 30 minutes or 1 hour with him or her before marriage. To find the best partner, to find the most loving and matching companions, a person has to be let alone with people of the opposite sex. Again, apologist Muslims can act like there is no compulsion for this, but that is not how it works in the real world. In many Muslim majority areas, parents warn their daughters to never spend time alone with men. They are intimidated and most often have no courage to question this. Boys usually have more courage, but are still intimidated to a certain degree, and the Muslim girls do not accompany them due to fear. You have some Islamic countries like Saudi and Banda Aceh in Indonesia for example, where being alone with the opposite sex if proven will get you flogged publically. Sure, you have many Muslims who do not follow or implement these teachings, but most of them are in Muslim minority areas.

To say things like "Being alone with opposite sex leads to sex and unwanted pregnancies" etc is not a good reason to destroy the happiness and well-being of a society by prohibiting free-mixing of men and women. A good parent will educate his children and advise them, especially girls to not risk being alone with a total stranger. But, he should never prohibit her from being alone with a man whom she knows and trusts - eg: her classmate/colleague/neighbor. Total repression leads to sadness and frustration. A big hug, especially between the opposite sex helps to cures sadness and anxiety. This makes love flow between them. This is the sort of culture that we should be encouraging. And Islamic culture should be discouraged. To teach something like "you should not hug any woman other than your mother or sister" is too repressive. There is no need to limit ourselves like that. Besides, everyone cannot be with their mothers/sisters/father/brother when they need a hug the most.

The Quran does not prohibit this explicitly, but orders that women should not display their beauty to anyone other than close blood relatives/husbands.
24:31 - And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment save to their own husbands or fathers or husbands' fathers, or their sons or their husbands' sons, or their brothers or their brothers' sons or sisters' sons, or their women, or their slaves, or male attendants who lack vigour, or children who know naught of women's nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto Allah together, O believers, in order that ye may succeed.

This causes a lot of sexual repression in Muslim men and adds to the problems. It is no coincidence that refugees from Muslim majority nations are often unable to control their frustration when they see women dressed in modern ways.

We have these sort of problems in Hindu areas as well (to a lesser extent), but the Hindus are modernizing much faster than Muslims - Because there is no final messenger of Hinduism who gave these orders. Most educated Hindus have thrown away this culture too. However, a dangerously high percentage of Muslims still follow these teachings - after all they believe that this was the order of the final messenger of god.

Thus, I can say beyond doubt that Islam destroys the happiness of our society.